


Sean's Asleep

by Rakshi



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Early Work, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-02
Updated: 2002-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-26 18:43:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/286645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakshi/pseuds/Rakshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elijah's shooting 'All I Want' in Vancouver, but he's home for a short vacation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sean's Asleep

Elijah didn't want to go back to Vancouver. He wished with all his heart that he could just stay where he was and be left alone by the entire fucking world. Where he was, at the moment, was snuggled tight in Sean's arms.

If he lifted his head just a bit, he could glimpse the window over Sean's shoulder. He breathed a sigh of relief. It was still dark out. I've got a little more time. He thought. He dreaded the moment when daylight would begin to filter down on them. No more time then. Night over. Time to go.

No point whining about it. Be happy you've got what you've got. Elijah thought. He nestled against Sean's warm body inhaling as deeply as he could. God! He thought. No one else on earth smells like he does. Put me in a room blindfolded. . . I'd walk right to him.

He inhaled again, and then giggled. I sound like a Nazgul. He was determined to stay awake. Whatever time he had left with Sean was not going to be wasted being dead to the world.

He face was snuggled against Sean's neck, and he couldn't resist the temptation to press his lips . . . just . . . ah . . . there . . . where his neck met his shoulder. Softly. Not to wake him. Just to feel him. Just to claim him.

Sean's sleep broke for a moment at the touch of Elijah's lips, but not completely. Stirring slightly, he murmured something that sounded like: "Lij . . ." and fell back into slumber as gently as a baby.

Elijah touched his hair and leaned back a bit to look at his face. He wondered if he could kiss Sean without waking him, decided it was worth a try, and gently touched Sean's lips with his. Leaning back, he ran one finger softly across Sean's brow. There was something about kissing and caressing Sean's unconscious body that Elijah found enthralling.

He's completely mine. Elijah thought, feeling something like wonder tugging at his heart. He doesn't even belong to himself now. Sound asleep. Lost in dreams. All mine.

Elijah looked at Sean's sleeping face, thinking that it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Peace was etched into every feature. His mouth was slightly open, breathing deeply and evenly. His brow was smooth. No lines of stress or pain intruded. His eyes were closed gently. The soft lines around his eyes spoke of laughter and kindness. Even asleep, Sean's face radiated the same goodness it did when he was awake.

God, I'm going to miss him so much. Elijah felt tears burn into his eyes. In another moment he'd be sobbing, and he didn't want that. Sean would be awake in a heartbeat. Brow furrowed with worry. Eyes slanting down at him, emerald-dark with concern. His baby was upset. Every fiber of Sean's being would be instantly attentive. Questioning. Murmuring. Looking for ways to fix it. To take the hurt away. To make everything alright again.

Elijah forced himself to breathe deeply. A trick he'd learned from Sean. Came in handy now and then. Soothed him when he wanted to cry.. like now. Helped him stay calm when he was leaning toward panic. And . . . most importantly . . . slowed him down when they were making love.

Sean's mouth against his, murmuring: Breathe, baby. Breathe with me, baby. Follow Sean's lead. Breathe deeply into his mouth. Their pace would slow. Their bodies would follow the rhythm of their breathing.

Elijah sighed. No point thinking like that.. Thoughts of their lovemaking would only leave him feeling unhappy, and he didn't want to wallow in bad feelings. When he left this morning, he wanted to leave Sean with a happy memory. Or, at least, not with a bad one.

Sean was curved around him. The lines of his body spoke movingly , eloquently, of protection. Of shelter. One arm cradled Elijah's head and the other rested between their two bodies, hand curled against Elijah's chest. Elijah gently lifted Sean's hand to his lips, praying he didn't wake him. He softly kissed Sean's fingers, loving the way they lay, so trustingly, against him. Brushing his cheek against Sean's hand, he felt as though he could disappear completely into it. Felt that those huge hands could simply capture him. Pick him up. Take him someplace where they'd never have to be apart.

You could, Seanie. He breathed against his palm. You could.

But Elijah knew he wouldn't. Even if he could . . . he wouldn't. Too many other people counted on him, and Sean would never turn away. I'll always have to share him. Elijah thought.

He felt momentarily ashamed of his thoughts. He questioned himself ruthlessly for a moment. Probing for weakness. For signs of ingratitude. No. Elijah thought. I don't mind sharing him.

He loves me. Elijah thought, feeling the awe that believing this always created within him. Call him. Beep him. Send him email. Say his name. And I have his full attention before his next heart beat.

He loves me. Elijah thought again. He caught Sean's hand in his own, curling it under his chin. The fingertips of his other hand traced lazy, meaningless designs on Sean's naked shoulder. Smiling, he trailed his fingers tenderly down Sean's arm and back up to his shoulder, his mind still captivated by the thought of caressing Sean while he slept... all unawares.

His shoulder was broad, muscular. Speaking silently of the strength that was only a reflection of his inner being. And yet . . . Elijah knew how vulnerable Sean could be. How quickly his inner demons could rise up to haunt him. How easily he could be convinced that he wasn't good enough. Wasn't doing enough. Wasn't strong enough.

But Elijah also know that when that darkness threatened, Sean would turn to him. You make the darkness bright. Sean had murmured, quoting one of his favorite 'Enya' songs. Then he had half-whispered, half-sung the song into Elijah's ear:

> Suddenly before my eyes  
> Hues of indigo arise  
> With them how my spirit sighs  
> Paint the sky with stars
> 
> Only night will ever know  
> Why the heavens never show  
> All the dreams there are to know  
> Paint the sky with stars
> 
> Who has paced the midnight sky?  
> So a spirit has to fly  
> As the heavens seem so far  
> Now who will paint the midnight star?
> 
> Night has brought to those who sleep  
> Only dreams they cannot keep  
> I have legends in the deep  
> Paint the sky with stars
> 
> Place a name upon the night  
> One to set your heart alight  
> And to make the darkness bright  
> Paint the sky with stars.

Elijah knew what this song meant to Sean. The heaven's HAD seemed so far. Happiness far beyond his reach. Peace that he couldn't even name, let alone find. The dreams he felt he couldn't keep. All of these things tore at him. But the name he placed upon the night was Elijah's.

 _You heal me._ Sean had told him. _Your love heals me._

Elijah sighed. The time that had passed weighed on him like a dense shroud. He was afraid to look up at the window again. He knew he'd see the first glimmer of day, and he didn't want to see that. He would have gladly stayed in this darkness forever.

He felt himself starting to tear up again, and shook himself slightly to get control. No bawling! He told himself sternly. No making Sean feel any worse than he has to feel.

He reached back up to Sean's shoulder and began writing on his skin with soft brushes of his fingers. I love you. He wrote, smiling. "You're being branded." He whispered. "You can't see it, but you're being branded." Still smiling, he imagined that the letters he was tracing were shining, golden against Sean's skin. Luminescent.

Sean's breathing changed a bit, and Elijah quickly looked up into his face. Two hazel eyes smiled down on him. "You drawing on me, Doodle?" he asked sleepily.

"Just leaving you a message." Elijah said softly, feeling a little embarrassed at being caught.

"What was the message?"

Elijah looked down. But Sean's hand, still tucked under his chin, lifted his face up. The softest lips in the world touched his mouth so gently that Elijah whimpered.

"What was my message?" Sean whispered against his mouth.

Elijah returned the kiss then pulled back a bit. "You have to figure it out. I'll write it again."

His fingers reached up to Sean's shoulder. "One letter at a time." Elijah breathed.

Then he wrote: 'I'. And looked up at Sean expectantly.

"I." Sean said, smiling at him. "And I thought college was a waste of time!"

"Wait." Elijah breathed. "Not done yet."

He traced again: 'L'.

"Could that be . . . " Sean mused "um.. an 'L' maybe?"

Elijah smiled up at him, then traced again: 'O'.

"I think," Sean breathed, nuzzling Elijah's mouth 'that I get the message."

Elijah lost himself in Sean's kiss, trying his best not to think about . . .

Tomorrow at this time he'll be a thousand miles away.

His breath caught on a sob in spite of how much he wanted to stay collected and calm.

Sean raised his head. "What did you mean by 'You're being branded'." He asked quietly, pulling Elijah against him. He had heard Elijah's sharp intake of breath. Knew what he was thinking. He wanted to move Elijah's mind to easier, safer territory.

"You heard that?" Oooops! Thought Elijah with a half-smile.

"Yeah." Sean said, grinning. "Branded? With WHAT? 'Property of Elijah Wood'?"

"Noooo." Elijah said softly, still fighting back tears. "Just, I love you."

"Just." Sean said quietly. "Just I love you." He tipped Elijah's face up to him. "Those are the most important words in the world. The most important words in my life, especially when you say them."

Elijah smiled up at him.

"You don't have to brand me with those words though, baby." He whispered. "They're already branded," Sean pointed at his chest "right here."

Elijah buried his face against that chest, loving the feeling of Sean's strong arms holding him tight.

"It's nearly time for me to go isn't it." Elijah said finally.

"Nearly." Sean told him. He leaned up to look at the clock. "We've got about a half hour before we have to get up . . . if we stretch it."

Elijah looked up at him, considering. If he pulled Sean down into his arms and made love to him, he knew he'd end up in uncontrollable sobs. Happened a lot when they made love anyway. But today especially, knowing he was leaving and that they'd be separated for awhile . . .

"Seanie." Elijah whispered.

"Hmmm?"

"Let me make you breakfast." Elijah offered.

Sean looked down at him, his eyes questioning.

Elijah shook his head. "I don't want to end up in tears. I don't want to leave you that way. And I would if we . . . " He let the sentence go unfinished.

Sean leaned down and kissed him softly. Then sat up.

"Scrambled." He announced to Elijah, grabbing his sweat pants from the floor. "Wheat toast. I'll make the coffee."

Elijah grinned up at him.

Sean put his hands on his hips, grinning back.

"Well, lets GO, Elwood! I'm starved!"

He pulled his sweats on and followed Sean into the kitchen. Elijah's body was already aching from missing him. We could have made love. Elijah thought. But it wouldn't have given the day a good start. That part of it will keep until we're not facing a separation.

When I'm alone tonight, Elijah thought, I can think about how sweet he was when he was asleep and not how upset we were when I had to go.

Elijah figured he'd still shed a few tears when he walked out the door. But he knew Sean well enough to know that he'd tease, joke and wise crack him into feeling OK about going.

Elijah cracked eggs into a bowl while Sean smiled at him. "Just remember that you're branded." Elijah quipped.

"That's not something I'm likely to forget." Sean told him. "Or that I want to forget."


End file.
